So, I've been trying to kick my coffee addiction for a while now, and last night, because JJ and Riven and I are trying to get on something resembling a normal sleep schedule, we decided to stay up all night. BAD DECISION.
I got back from my best friend Ace's place at like 2 am. JJ and Riven were still up. For some random reason JJ and I were starving. So we went to Denny's, home of late night breakfast, hookers, gay men, and the best cheap shit coffee outside of a real 50s diner. I drank two cups before I realized they were even poured. We got home at probably around four, and JJ and Riven went promptly to bed. I did not.
Coffee, for me, is more than a great way to spend money or an unfortunate dependency or a great way to go on a date without it seeming like a date. Coffee makes me superman. If you've ever heard the phrase in literature "...made their blood sing..." that's exactly how I feel when I have coffee. I can't sit still. I don't feel pain. I'm inspired to start projects I'll never finish. I can't even keep up with my own thoughts. I am invincible.
I'm also the one person on the planet who doesn't crash. I go back to normal levels of energy, but I lack the comatose-zombie-irritable-bitch phase most people get when their java finally wears off. So it makes sense I'm picky about my coffee, since I drink so damn much of it normally. I only drink two kinds of coffee. Expensive shit worth more than it's weight in gold I import from Italy that's totally organic, or cheap shit coffee. Not like, Starbucks commercialized cheap shit coffee, like Denny's-Dunkin' Donuts-4 a.m. Circle K sludge coffee. I know, I don't make any sense to me either.
So now I've had two cups of cheap shit coffee, and I haven't slept all night because my body thinks that alligator wrestling sounds like a legitimate career choice as opposed to sleep right now. Unfortunately, my brain is so tired it reverted to Latin, which I know because it announced the sunrise with a cheery "Lux est!" this morning.
I'm so, so screwed for functionality today. Clearly. I'm blog posting at 9 a.m. Until later.
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I would like it to be known I certainly did not mean to imply that alligator wrestling is not a legitimate career choice, and I certainly did not intend to crush Jessica's hopes and aspirations. I apologize for any misunderstanding and would like to elaborate that this is solely based on my inability to wrestle alligators due to my size and easy nomability. This has been a public service announcement. Thank you for your time.
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