One day, JJ and I were talking about luck. People have all sorts of luck, good luck, bad luck, fickle luck, and certain luck. I have what JJ affectionately refers to as "THE Luck".
"The Luck" is the sort of luck in legends and fairytales and fiction. It means my life doesn't do things by halves. When my luck is good, it's really really good. But when my luck runs out, it's like looking for water in the Sahara. Lately it's been good. The duplex, the fish, the printer...and the girl. Who may be one of the best thing's that's ever happened to me, even if we're only friends for now. I think. I can't get up the balls to clarify. Go me. Cowardice FTW.
But today, my luck ran out. My grandmother is in the hospital. And. She's old. Like in her 70s old. And for the first time in my life, I have real regrets. Because I don't want her to die while I'm still a disappointment to her. As much as my family and I may be on the rocks, I have always loved Grammy, and she has always loved me. It makes me wish I'd somehow tried harder to stay in university, somehow done better.
So all I can do now is hope, and try to make her proud. This post is dedicated to her, because it's something I've done on my own, and she'd be proud of this blog. Proud that I've made myself a presence, even if it is anonymously on the internet. I guess that's all I have to say right now.
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